I wrote this piece (as well as a few more that follow) a few days ago (10 December, 2007).....I was not sure if this is OK to share with my beloved ones....today I decided to post it....whether it makes sense or not I am not sure...but such thoughts do come often
I am alone...sitting in IIM, Bangalore. Sheila is in Pune. Maya in Vellacheri and Indhu at Mandavelli...not to speak of others, near and dear. Am I lonely only now...no for many years....what happened to all those days I enjoyed the company of others....do we really mature as we grow...we slowly get into our own path...may be a lonely path....is that maturity ? I call Sheila, Indhu and Maya now and then to ensure that I am not alone....does it really help ? I don't know. Do you know ? I know only this: I started my journey alone....I will end it alone. Whatever happens in between does not matter, because these are not permanent. All the ties and bonds are temporary....they vary depending on the moods of people and the usefulness of the relationship. They can be broken any time wihtout rhyme or reason...but the truth is that I don't have any control over it. I don't get love; I don't get affection; I don't get admiration....but I want to show that I have all these...just to cheat and please me....after all individuals live for themselves...not for others....what is good today can become a sour tomorrow..and the vice versa....simply these are all contextual....when am I gonig to grow / mature to be untouched by any of these emotions....I am looking for that day.
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7 comments:
Dear Brother,
Your thinking is in the correct direction. You can now see a number of old age homes comming. That is because we have negletted joint family system. Now we have to munch " THAYUM PILLAIYANALUM VAYUM VAYARUM THANI".
All this means that now you finally have the time for inquest into the "truth". Yesterday I was thinking the best place for "Self" study, a place in this whole world where we can actually be shut from the rest of the world (not much of interaction with people), not have to worry about food, clothes and shelter (indirectly not worry about money) and the answer i came up with was "JAIL"...sounds strange but interesting
Dear Indhu,
Your thinking on this line is OK but your conclusion is not acceptable. For such things our forefathers have given us a path That is MOUNAM. If you keep your mouth shut no one will question you or they will come to you to give information. By that you become aloof from the madding crowd.
HI Indhu,
I have not graduated yet to seek the TRUTH....I was just thinking of the relationships ....how they have changed over time....I have seen this in the family as well as in the professional life. As Chandra Anna says, Thayum Pilliyum endralum vayum vayarum onnaguma ? We face dilemmas althrough...is it love, afffection etc., or me, mine and myself ? the winner always is me, mine and myself.
This does not stop you from seeking the TRUTH
Love
Appa
Dear Peripa,
What you say is fine...as human beings we have declared the "JAIL" as a bad place. Besides I am at the lowest possible level to even try "MOUNAM" its for people with advanced knowledge and control...not for me yet! :)
Dear Appa,
Yes love affection, me, mine all these stop you from seeking the truth...the time we spend thinking about us could have been spent thinking about the "truth"...but may be we are not eolved enough in our karmic cycle to let go of thoughts related to our bodies! I believe that there will be such a state for every soul! But just that I am not there yet will have to wait longer!
Hi Indhu,
Good. Keep it up. You are absolutely right..or almost there.
See the last sentence of my posting; that is precisely what you say in a different language.
Another important word in my posting is "contextual".
In the present context, yes I am far below the level to even think of the TRUTH.
Everything is MAYA...MAYA...MAYA
Love
APPA
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